i came across a subway ad for the Pan Am Games here in Toronto the other day. i don’t go in for sportsing, so i haven’t paid the upcoming Games much mind. i keep an ear open to CBC radio, and have heard that some Torontonians are upset at what they call wasteful spending of government money on the event. Until now, i’ve chalked it up to the Ron Swansons of the world: whenever the government spends any taxpayer money to do anything, small-government Swansons gonna Swanson.

But then i saw this:

Pan Am Games subway ad

i don’t like ragging on other people’s creative output, but … i’m about to rag on this person’s creative output. i’m not sure how much money changed hands (or hooves) for these designs to see the light of day, but come on: what on Earth is happening in this picture?

You’ve got a guy in some sort of go kart mowing down pedestrians …


… a balloon artist getting simultaneously kicked in the ass and stabbed in the stomach …


… while punching a horse ..


… which is outrunning a guy trying to pull off a slam dunk …




… next to this dude trying to landing flying leg drop while getting kicked in the dick …


… and this one curled into the fetal position getting sass-smashed in the lumbar spine by a dancer who’s totally fucking had it with ping pong.


Follow-up questions:

1. Who paid money for this?
2. Where can i get some of that bad design money?
3. Will the Pan Am Games really be this mental? If so, Toronto’s gonna earn back all its money in ticket sales and then some.